Stay Gold
by dallianceforce
Summary: Even the Joker had a mother. This is their time together, however short it was, and how it inevitably affected him.
1. Chapter 1

first note

So this is my first BB/TDK/TDKR fic, and it's a Joker origins fic. It's going to have kid!Joker (or my interpretation of him, in Nolanverse anyway) and Joker!mom. It's going to be mostly following his mom (my OC) and a bit of Joker, but I won't be focusing on him as much because I want the reader (that's you) to determine what shaped him, why, and how. I don't want to be the one telling what was it that affected him, not really. Anyway enjoy!

/

When the beat-up beige Buick pulled up to the side of the school, Carmen looked out the passenger window at the children milling around outside. She was a little nervous, but tried to seem excited about it. She glanced at the other cars around. Most of them seemed newer, and even the buses looked like the paint was pretty fresh.

The school itself was rather large, just about the size of Basin City Elementary and it had a dark red roof. The lawn was cut short and on the forefront building, presumably where the administration was, was an enormous clock face that portrayed the time. It was three minutes faster than Carmen's Bettie Boop watch.

She let out a long, slow exhale and gripped the steering wheel a little too tightly before letting go of it altogether. She set the car in park and swallowed once.

Things would be different in Gotham. Maybe not great, but it had to be better than Basin City. She and Jackie could start over fresh; get a better life going for themselves here. New people, new friends, a new job, new school – it may not have been Metropolis but on a gal like Carmen's salary, there wasn't really anywhere they could go they could afford. But it wasn't like they were desperate – not anymore, at least.

_Nowhere_ was as bad as Sin City.

A smile broke out of her face and her bright cherry lips parted at the seam slightly. "Ain't cha excited Jackie baby? New school, looks brand spankin' new - look at that roof, bunch of kids you can make friends with and they got a jungle gym!" she let her eyes dart from the school grounds to the small patch of playground she could see from her space in the car. When she heard no response or indication that her son heard her she gave him a fish eye.

Carmen reached over to the passenger seat and prodded at her ten year old son with a painted fingernail.

He turned to her slowly, dark hazel eyes solemn. "Not like it's gonna be any different. They'll think I'm a freak." His eyes turned down to his sneakers and Carmen felt a twist in her chest at the look of the old things. They weren't falling apart, but Jack grew so fast and her last paycheck from her previous workplace was late in coming, not to mention rent was due, and the poor little guy looked miserable with his Mighty Mouse stitching peeling from his right shoe.

Carmen sucked a bit on her bottom lip before reaching over and putting her face next to his. She ignored the seatbelt digging into her ribs while she spoke. "C'mon Jackie baby. Lookit, you're not a freak just cuz you're smarter than they are or cuz your clothes were from last year." She said and felt his hair tickle her cheek and nuzzled into his soft skin. "_My_ clothes are from two years ago. They should appreciate how much effort we go to, keeping them lookin' so good."

"Mom, you're getting makeup on me," he raised his shoulders and shirked his face away from hers. "And it just means we're poor and we can't _afford_ new clothes."

Carmen drew away from him abruptly, lips popping and her brows crashed down. "Hey. Hey," she yanked on Jack's closest shoulder to have him turn to her. "Being poor ain't something we've gotta feel ashamed of. You hear me, Jackie?" Carmen watched her son nod absently. She breathed out through her nose quickly, "We don't have anything to be ashamed of, Jackie. Nothing, nada, zilch. Being where we're at, you 'n me? Better than most, lemme tell you. Nothin' at all to be ashamed of, Jackie. 'Sides, my last check's coming in soon and I think you need new shoes." Carmen's nose scrunched up at that and Jack's face broke into a hesitant smile.

They both looked up at the sound of a bell. The dark haired woman tugged at her leopard printed coat before digging in her purse to pull out a gold colored cylinder, "Guess that's show time. I'll pick you up at three. Where ya gonna be?" she leaned towards the rearview mirror and reapplied her lipstick.

"At the library." Jack looked out the window again and unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the door.

"Hey," Jack turned and was assaulted by a pair of big red lips. He felt the smear of the lipstick drag down his cheek and he made a disagreeable noise. He felt his mother laugh with her lips still smashed against his cheek. He groaned in disgust and pushed at her shoulder. She was still laughing as she sat back in her seat.

"Jesus Jackie. Lighten up, red looks good on you. I think it's your color." Carmen lifted her brows playfully when Jack began scrubbing furiously at his cheek with his denim jacket sleeve. "Okay, _okay_, _okay_ I'm sorry. I'm _sah-rry_!" she was still giggling in between her words as she apologized with her hands up in a peaceful gesture and Jack gave her a little scowl.

She snorted in her nose and licked her thumb to help get the red smear off. She got most of it off before Jack pulled away to scrub at his cheek again.

"Okay. Library at three," she saluted Jack as he climbed out of the car. "Good luck Jackie, and if anybody calls you a freak, tell me their last name."

Jack shut the door and looked back. "So you can talk to their mom?"

"Nope," Carmen popped the 'p' in the word before she grinned widely. Jack saw that the lipstick had left a small red smudge on one of her front teeth. "So I can go punch their mom for raising such a rotten kid." Jack's eyes widened while Carmen blew a kiss and then shoved him further from the car with an outstretched arm. "Kisses Jackie!"

Jack watched the old Buick heave itself away like a reluctant mule from the curb and down the street before he shook his head slowly. He made his way to the school slowly and felt the tips of his sneakers drag in the grass.

He turned his head down to hide the smile.

/

last note

this is the prologue/me getting into the groove of writing this. if you guys spot anything, like grammar errors or things that could use some work (transitioning, pacing, etc.) please let me know. lemme know what you think, thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

this chapter is a carmen chapter, focusing on me trying to show how she feels about jack rather than telling you. next chapter is a little jack chapter with some carmen thrown in for seasoning. please lemme know what you think!

/

"Charlie, I need a black and blue steak with a kitchen cleaner and two birds on a raft and I need them _yestaday_. Guy's about to wash me away in his tears over here." Carmen leaned over the kitchen separator and snapped her gum at the heavyset Italian working.

The man called Charlie looked up from under his thick brows and scowled, "Then buy an oar and fer Chrissakes get outta hea." He flapped a large hand at her while his other hand flipped an egg sizzling in a cast iron skillet casually.

Carmen rolled her eyes but nonetheless eased away and moved again when she saw another couple sit down. They were well dressed and had a different air about them than the usual daily grinders – the blue collars that roamed around in their wrinkled suits, their stained work shirts, their baseball caps or their tight dresses and hasty makeup. These people looked like they were a little more uptown and Carmen held out a close hope that they were good tippers.

She made her way to them and snagged a couple menus from the front slider. They were leaning in close, looking like they were in deep discussion.

"Hey there, my name's Carmen and I'll be helping you today." The couple startled momentarily and looked up with dissimilar looks of politeness. Carmen felt herself sag in relief. They didn't look like assholes, well maybe the lady a little bit. She held out the menus to them and the man took both, handing one to his lady friend secondly. "Can I getcha something to drink? Coffee? OJ? Water?"

Surprisingly, the woman spoke first. "Can I get a coffee?" her brows were thin, no makeup and she reminded Carmen of her first boss in that severe, dry tone she used.

The man, an apple cheeked blonde with Basset hound eyes, took it as his cue, "I'll take a coffee and what juice do you have?"

"We've got apple, orange, grapefruit and pineapple."

The man grinned, "Coffee and grapefruit."

"You got it. Cream and sugar?"

The woman's brows drew together. "I'm sorry?"

"For your coffees. Cream and sugar? Or you take them black?" Carmen repeated firmly. As it happened in diners the waitresses were often forgotten when the customer thought they'd relayed everything they wanted.

"Black for me, he'll need cream and sugar," she nodded to the man who shrugged and smiled.

Carmen withheld from raising her eyebrow, there were all kinds out there. "Be right back." The minute she turned away, she heard them conversing again.

Carmen allowed herself to make a story for them. Working in a diner was busy work, and you saw all kinds, shapes and sizes, but never really knew somebody. She once had a friend whose cousin's sister's boyfriend worked as a busboy on this old diner and said that the Boston Strangler use to stop in for coffee. He was a good tipper too. You never know what kind of people you serve, so making up stories for the people she served made the time go faster for Carmen, made the people more interesting and more engaging through her imagined fantasy life.

Maybe they were undercover cops posing as a couple and the diner was actually a cover for a mafia coke ring that they needed to crack. Maybe they'd take her on as their 'inside' girl, someone who could get their information for them and meet them at a nondescript fishing dock to exchange information. Then they'd have to arm her with a small handgun to protect herself once it turned out that one of them was a dirty cop and had informed the mafia of the rat. Then there'd be a shootout and finally, there'd just be the waitress, the good cop and the defeated Mafioso, and all would end well until it turned out that the good cop was actually the dirty one.

"Charlie, I need a grapefruit on ice," she called as she passed to reach behind the counter and opened the small closet where the coffee mugs were kept. She grabbed two and heard that the other order she'd been waiting on was called. She popped her lips and ran her tongue over her teeth.

She leaned over the coffeemaker and sniffed it surreptitiously and ignored Charlie's stink eye from over the separator. It smelled burnt. She gave him a look right back and snapped her gum at him.

He let out a huff of disgust and shoved a cup of grapefruit juice at her before turning back to his skillet with a shake of his head.

Carmen grabbed the only other pot of coffee and carried it, along with the two mugs and the juice over to the couple after she loaded her white apron with creamers, balancing a sugar container on the coffee pot. Coming back to the couple with a smile that wasn't returned from the woman, she poured two cups and set the juice, sugar and creamers on the table, taking a step back. "Any decisions?" she asked hopefully.

The woman looked at her almost crossly. "We haven't even decided if we want to eat here. We'll wave you over if we do."

Carmen sucked on the inside of her lip and an image of her pouring the hot coffee over the woman's head flashed through her mind for a moment. "No problem, just lemme know." She said with another smile before bowing out. _Enjoy your burnt coffee you bitch. Wearing a pants suit like that and you're nothing but a goddamn_ chud.

Carmen very firmly in her mind did not stomp back to Charlie to leave the coffee pot and take the steak and hash order back to the large trucker who perked up at the sight of her like Pavlov's dog. It wasn't stomping. She just had gum stuck to the bottom of both her feet. "Here you go," she said with a quick smile.

The man muttered a gruff thanks before digging in heartily.

Carmen wiped her hands over her uniform and saw that no one needed her immediate attention. Lyn and Bobby-Lee were eyeing everyone and were armed with pitchers of water in the back towards the kitchen entrance. The breakfast rush had all come in at once, so now there was maybe a two to five minute lull in things.

She moved over to Lyn and leaned against the wall where she could watch all the customers. "How's it shakin' Lyn?" she needed to spit her gum out soon. It was starting to taste like plastic.

Lyn, now Carmen liked women like Lyn. Lyn was older than her with three kids, her sister and her sister's two kids and her sister's deadbeat boyfriend. Lyn looked like she could've served in WWII as a nurse, or even as a soldier the way she could set her stone-face on an unfortunate schmuck that pulled some idiot move in front of her. The way Lyn looked at the world, Carmen thought, made her think that maybe if Lyn was President, maybe things would be different. Or maybe everyone would just get the same treatment as Lyn's sister's deadbeat boyfriend; a firm backhand and an even firmer 'fuck off you twerp'.

Lyn shrugged and set her pitcher against her hip. "Same old same old. I want a smoke and parent teacher conferences are up and I know that Sherry is making all the boys eyeball her." Lyn's lip twitched. "Kinda daughter did I raise, making her think that that was what she should be doing while her mother hoofs it in ten hour shifts." Her raspy voice only added to what Carmen perceived as true street wisdom. She hoped she could be so practical and dry as Lyn as she aged.

Bobby-Lee, who preferred to be called Bobby to avoid any confusion between calling her and Lyn, looked over. "I just quit smoking." Bobby was an _almost_ sweet girl, but somehow the world had done her a wrong and so she was just a sad thing, all big eyes and pouty lips. A sad girl with a six foot-something tall girlfriend who worked as a police officer.

Lyn looked like she was going to grimace. "And how exactly do you plan on keeping the devil at bay?"

Bobby rolled her big blue eyes. "Nancy doesn't like it, says it's a nasty habit so I've taken up treating myself to a milkshake every day I don't smoke."

Carmen narrowed her eyes. "I heard you gain weight when you quit."

Lyn nodded, "You do. Oral fixation or something. Something about needing something in your mouth and what with Bobby here not having a boyfriend you can just bet she's going to be rolling around or puffing like a chimney in a week."

Bobby scowled, but said nothing in her own defense.

Lyn rasped something like a short laugh before asking, "What about you Carmen? How you liking Gotham so far?"

Carmen shrugged. She and Jackie had so far lived in Gotham for a week and a half. The Narrows reminded her of the Projects in Basin City – not as hopeless or lost, but just as much crime. Jackie, after his first day, had not reported anything about school to her. He'd only clam up and shrug at her prodding, but had mentioned the library was larger and that the funds were enough that his science class was going to dissect a baby pig at the end of the month. Yeesh.

"Eh, you know. Big city, lots of roaches, but I gotta say it beats the Basin Projects." Carmen perked up when it looked like someone was going to leave only to realize they were only getting up to use the bathroom. "Jackie likes the school's library."

Lyn looked at her for a long moment. "Has he made any friends?"

The question was harmless but Carmen nonetheless felt her hackles rise. "He's a shy boy, so it takes him a while to come out of his shell."

Bobby nodded slowly. "Some kids are different."

Carmen's brows drew together, "Jackie's _unique_."

Lyn cocked a dark brow in Carmen's direction and Bobby pursed her lips. Carmen felt her lips thin a little. She could be defensive when it came to Jackie, she'd be the first to admit it – he was her sore spot, the soft spot Carmen had allowed to stay that way. Jackie was different from other kids his age and was often the subject of disdain, scorn, name calling and goddamn _questions_. Carmen had developed a knee-jerk reaction to anything said about Jackie in earshot. Poor kid had enough on his plate without everyone and their mother _wondering_ about Jack Napier.

"He's a smart kid, probably prefers books to people. It'll be for the best when he gets to college. He won't be chasing so much pussy." Lyn ended the conversation with a shrug before moving away, pitcher in hand, when someone set their empty cup to the edge of the table.

With just Bobby and Carmen left leaning against the wall, Carmen felt slightly uneasy. Bobby was by no means a mean person, but she had a slow drawl to her like she knew your secret and was debating bringing it up to you in conversation.

"I never meant different in a bad way Carmen." Her soft voice, like a silk blouse without any snags, came through to Carmen over the din of the diner.

Carmen looked over at her with a small, humorless smile. "I know. I just – Jackie's, well, Jackie and I'm his mom. Still. I didn't need to snap at ya, so I'm sorry about that." She pulled her bottom lip in and sucked at it.

Bobby nodded, "Smart kids have it harder than everyone else."

Carmen cocked her head. "Why'd you say that?"

Bobby opened her mouth to respond but at that moment, about three tables of people stood up with the intent to go up and pay. "Later," she promised and made her way to the register while Carmen hurried over to start taking plates away. She checked her watch quickly and bustled on, the diner suddenly filling itself with movement again.

It would be another six hours until she could pick Jack up from school.

/

Diner lingo – black and blue steak (burnt on outside, rare inside), kitchen cleaner (hash) two birds on a raft (two poached eggs on toast), chud (someone who doesn't actually order anything but a drink). Now, this tends to vary from region to region. This is only the type I've faced in my area, so it's the only one I really could use.


End file.
